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Pilot: A Hard Day’s Night
March 27, 2005
“The game: They say a person either has what it takes to play, or they don’t. My mother was one of the greats. Me, on the other hand… I’m kinda screwed.
(Following Chief Webber’s speech about the rate of success in surgical residency…)
Like I said… I’m screwed.”
I can’t think of any one reason why I’d want to be a surgeon… but I can think of 1,000 reasons why I should quit. They make it hard on purpose. There are lives in our hands. There comes a moment when it’s more than just a game, and you either take that step forward, or turn around and walk away.
I could quit, but here’s the thing… I love the playing field.
So, I made it through my first shift. We all did. The other interns are all good people, you’d like them, I think. I don’t know, maybe. I like them.
(Meredith’s voice changes from “voice over” quality, to “speaking” quality, and we find she’s speaking to her mother.)
Oh, and I changed my mind. I’m not going to sell the house. I’m gonna keep it. I’ll have to get a couple of roommates, but, it’s home, you know?
Episode Two: The First Cut Is the Deepest
April 3, 2005
It’s all about lines. The finish line at the end of residency. Waiting in line for a chance at the operating table. And then there’s the most important line, the line separating you, from the people you work with. It doesn’t help to get too familiar. To make friends.
You need boundaries between you and the rest of the world. Other people are far too messy. It’s all about lines. Drawing lines in the sand, and praying like hell, no one crosses them.
At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don’t keep other people out, they fence you in. Life is messy. That’s how we’re made. So you can waste your life drawing lines… or you can live your life crossing them.
But there are some lines… that are way too dangerous to cross. Here’s what I know: If you’re willing to take the chance, the view from the other side… is spectacular.
Episode Three: Winning a Battle, Losing the War
3: April 10, 2005
We live out our lives on the surgical unit. Seven days a week, 14 hours a day. We’re together more than we’re apart. After a while, the ways of residency become the ways of life.
Number one: Always keep score.
Number two: Do whatever you can to outsmart the other guy.
Number three: Don’t make friends with the enemy.
Oh, and yeah, number four: Everything, everything, is a competition. Whoever said winning wasn’t everything? Never held a scalpel.
There’s another way to survive this competition. A way no one ever seems to tell you about. One you have to learn yourself.
Number five: It’s not about the race. At all. There are no winners or losers. Victories are counted by the number of lives saved.
And, once in a while, if you’re smart, the life you save… could be your own.
Episode Four: No Man’s Land
April 17, 2005
Intimacy is a four-syllable word for, “Here are my heart and soul. Please grind them into hamburger and enjoy.”
It’s both desired, and feared, difficult to live with… and impossible to live without.
Intimacy also comes attached to life’s three R’s: Relatives, Romance, and Roommates. There are some things you can’t escape, and other things, you just don’t want to know…
I wish there were a rule book for intimacy. Some kind of a guide that could tell you when you’ve crossed the line. It would be nice if you could see it coming. And I don’t know how you fit it on a map…
You take it where you can get it, and keep it as long as you can. And as for rules… Maybe there are none. Maybe the rules of intimacy are something you have to define for yourself.
Episode Five: Shake Your Groove Thing
April 24, 2005
Remember when you were a kid, and your biggest worry was, like, if you’d get a bike for your birthday, or if you’d get to eat cookies for breakfast? Being an adult? Totally overrated. I mean, seriously, don’t be fooled by all the hot shoes, and the great sex, and the no parents anywhere telling you what to do. Adulthood is responsibility.
Responsibility, it really does suck. Really, really sucks. Adults have to be places and do things and earn a living and pay the rent. And if you’re training to be a surgeon, holding a human heart in your hands… Hello! Talk about responsibility!
Kind of makes bikes and cookies look really really good, doesn’t it?
The scariest part about responsibility? When you screw up, and let it slip right through your fingers…
Responsibility… it really does suck. Unfortunately, once you get past the age of braces and training bras, responsibility doesn’t go away. It can’t be avoided. Either someone makes us face it, or we suffer the consequences.
And still, adulthood has its perks. I mean, the shoes, the sex, the no parents anywhere telling you what to do… that’s pretty damn good.
Episode Six: If Tomorrow Never Comes
May 1, 2005
A couple hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. “Never leave that ’till tomorrow,” he said, “which you can do today.”
This is the man who discovered electricity. You’d think more of us would listen to what he had to say. I don’t know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I’d say it has a lot to do with fear.
Fear of failure, fear of pain, fear of rejection… Sometimes the fear is just of making a decision. Because, what if you’re wrong? What if you’re making a mistake you can’t undo?
Whatever it is we’re afraid of, one thing holds true… that, by the time the pain of not doing a thing, gets worse than the fear of doing it, it can feel like we’re carrying around a giant tumor.
(on screen, the interns walk into Miss Conner’s room and see her very large tumor…)
And you thought I was speaking metaphorically.
The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can’t pretend we haven’t been told. We’ve all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day.
Still, sometimes, we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today’s possibility under tomorrow’s rug, until we can’t anymore, until we finally understand for ourselves, what Benjamin Franklin meant:
That knowing, is better than wondering. That waking, is better than sleeping. And that even the biggest failure, even the worst, most intractable mistake, beats the hell out of never trying.
Episode Seven: The Self-Destruct Button
May 8, 2005
Okay, anyone who says you can sleep when you die, tell them to come talk to me after a few months as an intern. Of course, it’s not just the job that keeps us up all night.
I mean, if life’s so hard already, why do we bring more trouble down on ourselves? What’s up with the need to hit the self-destruct button?
Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we’re wired that way. Because without it, I don’t know… maybe we just wouldn’t feel real.
What’s that saying? “Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer?” “Because it feels so good when I stop.”
Episode Eight: Save Me
May 15, 2005
You know how when you were a little kid, and you believed in fairy tales? That fantasy of what your life would be. White dress, Prince Charming, who’d carry you away to a castle on a hill. You’d lie in bed at night and close your eyes, and you had complete and utter faith.
Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close, you could taste them. But eventually, you grow up. One day you open your eyes, and the fairy tale disappears. Most people, turn to the things and people they can trust.
But the thing is… it’s hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely. Because almost everyone still has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they’ll open their eyes, and it will all come true.
At the end of the day, faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don’t really expect it. It’s like, one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed.
The castle… well, it may not be a castle. And, it’s not so important that it’s happy ever after. Just that it’s happy right now. See, once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you. And once in a while… people may even take your breath away.
Episode Nine: Who’s Zoomin’ Who?
May 22, 2005
Secrets can’t hide in science. Medicine has a way of exposing the lies. Within the walls of the hospital, the truth is stripped bare. How we keep our secrets outside the hospital… well, that’s a little different.
One thing is certain. Whatever it is we’re trying to hide, we’re never ready for that moment when the truth gets naked.
That’s the problem with secrets. Like misery, they love company. They pile up and up until they take over everything. Until you don’t have room for anything else. Until you’re so full of secrets, you feel like you’re going to burst.
The thing people forget, is how good it can feel when you finally set secrets free. Whether good or bad, at least they’re out in the open, like it, or not.
And once your secrets are out in the open, you don’t have to hide behind them anymore. The problem with secrets is, even when you think you’re in control… you’re not.
Season Two Monologues
Meredith Grey’s Season 2 Monologues – 2.1
Episode One: Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head
September 25, 2005
To be a good surgeon, you have to think like a surgeon. Emotions are messy. Tuck them neatly away and step into a clean, sterile room where the procedure is simple. Cut, suture, and close.
But sometimes, you’re faced with a cut that won’t heal. A cut that rips its stitches wide open…
They say practice makes perfect. Theory is, the more you think like a surgeon, the more you become one. The better you get at remaining neutral, clinical. Cut, suture, close. And the harder it becomes to turn it off… to stop thinking like a surgeon. And remember what it means to think like a human being.
Episode Two: Enough Is Enough (No More Tears)
October 2, 2005
I have an aunt who, whenever she poured anything for you, would say: “say when”. My aunt would say, “Say when,” and of course, we never did.
We don’t say “when” because there’s something about the possibility of more. More tequila. More love. More anything. More is better.
There’s something to be said about a glass half full. About knowing when to say “when.” I think it’s a floating line. A barometer of need and desire. It’s entirely up to the individual… and depends on what’s being poured. Sometimes, all we want is a taste. Other times, there’s no such thing as enough. The glass is bottomless.
And all we want… is more.
Episode Three: Make Me Lose Control
October 9, 2005
Surgeons are control freaks. With a scalpel in your hand you feel unstoppable. There’s no fear, there’s no pain. You’re ten feet tall and bulletproof. And then you leave the OR. And all that perfection, all that beautiful control, just falls to crap.
No one likes to lose control. But as a surgeon, there’s nothing worse. It’s a sign of weakness. Of not being up to the task. And still, there are times when it just gets away from you. When the world stops spinning and you realize that your shiny little scalpel isn’t gonna save you.
No matter how hard you fight it, you fall. And it’s scary as hell. Except, if there’s an upside to free falling, it’s the chance you give your friends to catch you.
Episode Four: Deny, Deny, Deny
October 16, 2005
The key to surviving a surgical internship is denial. We deny that we’re tired, we deny that we’re scared, we deny how badly we want to succeed, and most importantly, we deny that we’re in denial.
We only see what we want to see, and believe what we want to believe. And it works. We lie to ourselves so much that, after a while, the lies start to seem like the truth.
We deny so much, that we can’t recognize the truth, right in front of our faces…
Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long.
We are tired. We are scared. Denying it doesn’t change the truth. Sooner or later, we have to put aside our denial and face the world head-on, guns blazing.
Denial. It’s not just a river in Egypt. It’s a freaking ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it?
Episode Five: Bring the Pain
October 23, 2005
Pain comes in all forms. The small twinge, a bit of soreness, the random pain. The normal pains we live with every day. Then there’s the kind of pain we can’t ignore. A level of pain so great that it blocks out everything else. Makes the rest of the world fade away. Until all we can think about is how much we hurt. How we manage our pain is up to us.
Pain. We anesthetize… ride it out, embrace it, ignore it… And for some of us, the best way to manage pain is to just push through it.
Pain. You just have to ride it out. Hope it goes away on its own. Hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions. No easy answers. You just breathe deep and wait for it to subside.
Most of the time, pain can be managed. But sometimes, the pain gets you when you least expect it. Hits way below the belt and doesn’t let up.
Pain. You just have to fight through. Because the truth is, you can’t outrun it. And life always makes more.
Episode Six: Into You Like a Train
October 30, 2005
In general, people can be categorized in one of two ways: Those who love surprises, and those who don’t. I don’t. I’ve never met a surgeon that enjoys a surprise, because, as surgeons, we like to be in the know. We have to be in the know. Because when we aren’t, people die and lawsuits happen.
Am I rambling? I think I’m rambling. Okay, so my point actually, and I do have one, has nothing to do with surprises or death or lawsuits or even surgeons. My point is this: whoever said “What you don’t know can’t hurt you”? Was a complete and total moron. Because for most people I know, not knowing is the worst feeling in the world.
(Gurney wheeled in with Bonnie and Tom impaled onto a metal pole)
Okay, fine, maybe it’s the second worst.
As surgeons, there are so many things we have to know. We have to know we have what it takes. We have to know how to take care of our patients. And, how to take care of each other. Eventually, we even have to figure out how to take care of ourselves.
As surgeons, we have to be in the know. But as human beings, sometimes it’s better to stay in the dark. Because in the dark, there may be fear… but there’s also hope.
Episode Seven: Something to Talk About
November 6, 2005
Communication. It’s the first thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words, and really start talking, the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or, how to ask for what we really need…
At the end of the day, there are some things you just can’t help but talk about.
Some things, we just don’t want to hear. And some things we say because we can’t be silent any longer. Some things are more than what you say. They’re what you do. Some things you say because there’s no other choice. Some things, you keep to yourself.
And not too often, but every now and then… some things simply speak for themselves.
Episode Eight: Let It Be
November 13, 2005
In the eighth grade, my English class had to read Romeo and Juliet. Then, for extra credit, Mrs. Snyder made us act out all the parts. Sal Scafarillo was Romeo. As fate would have it, I was Juliet. All the other girls were jealous. But I had a slightly different take.
I told Mrs. Snyder that Juliet was an idiot. For starters, she falls for the one guy she knows she can’t have. Then she blames fate for her own bad decision. Mrs. Snyder explained to me that when fate comes into play, choice sometimes goes out the window.
At the ripe old age of 13, I was very clear, that love, like life, is about making choices. And fate has nothing to do with it. Everyone thinks it’s so romantic. Romeo and Juliet. True love. How sad. If Juliet was stupid enough to fall for the enemy, drink a bottle of poison, and go to sleep in a mausoleum… she deserved whatever she got.
Maybe Romeo and Juliet were fated to be together, but just for a while. And then their time passed. If they could have known that beforehand, maybe it all would have been okay.
I told Mrs. Snyder that when I was grown up, I’d take fate into my own hands. I wouldn’t let some guy drag me down. Mrs. Snyder said I’d be lucky if I ever had that kind of passion with someone. And that if I did, we’d be together forever.
Even now, I believe that for the most part, love is about choices. It’s about putting down the poison and the dagger and making your own happy ending, most of the time. And that sometimes, despite all your best choices, and all your best intentions, fate wins anyway.
Episode Nine: Thanks for the Memories
November 20, 2005
Gratitude. Appreciation. Giving thanks. No matter what words you use, it all means the same thing. Happy. We’re supposed to be happy. Grateful for friends, family, happy to just be alive… whether we like it or not.
Maybe we’re not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude… has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human.
Maybe we’re thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we’re thankful for the things we’ll never know.
At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing… is reason enough to celebrate.
Episode Ten: Much Too Much
November 27, 2005
When you were a kid, it was Halloween candy. You hid it from your parents and ate it until you got sick. In college, it was the heady combo of youth, tequila, and well, you know.
As a surgeon, you take as much of the good as you can get, because it doesn’t come around nearly as often as it should. ‘Cause good things aren’t always what they seem. Too much of anything, even love, is not always a good thing.
How do you know how much is too much? Too much, too soon? Too much information? Too much fun? Too much love? Too much to ask?
And when is it all just too much to bear?
Episode 11: Owner of a Lonely Heart
December 4, 2005
Forty years ago, The Beatles asked the world a simple question. They wanted to know where all the lonely people came from. My latest theory is that a great many of the lonely people come from hospitals. More precisely, the surgical wing of hospitals.
As surgeons, we ignore our own needs, so we can meet our patients’ needs. We ignore our friends and families, so we can save other people’s friends and families. Which means that, at the end of the day, all we really have is ourselves.
And nothing in this world can make you feel more alone than that.
Four hundred years ago, another well-known English guy had an opinion about being alone. John Donne. He thought we were never alone. Of course, it was fancier when he said it.
“No man is an island, entire unto himself.” Boil down that island talk, and he just meant that all anyone needs is someone to step in… and let us know we’re not alone.
And who’s to say that the someone can’t have four legs? Someone to play with, or run around with… or just hang out.
Episode 12: Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer
December 11, 2005
It’s an urban myth that suicide rates spike at the holidays. Turns out, they actually go down. Experts think it’s because people are less inclined to off themselves when surrounded by family. Ironically, that same family togetherness is thought to be the reason that depression rates actually do spike at the holidays.
Yeah, okay, Izzie doesn’t count.
There’s an old proverb that says you can’t choose your family. You take what the fates hand you. And, like them or not, love them or not, understand them, or not… you cope.
Then there’s the school of thought that says the family you’re born into is simply a starting point. They feed you and clothe you and take care of you, until you’re ready to go out into the world… and find your tribe.
Episode 13: Begin the Begin
January 15, 2006
Fresh starts. Thanks to the calendar, they happen every year. Just set your watch to January. Our reward for surviving the holiday season, is a new year. Bringing on the great tradition of New Year’s resolutions. Put your past behind you, and start over.
It’s hard to resist the chance at a new beginning. A chance to put the problems of last year to bed.
Who gets to determine when the old ends, and the new begins? It’s not a day on a calendar, not a birthday, not a new year. It’s an event. Big or small. Something that changes us. Ideally, it gives us hope.
A new way of living and looking at the world. Letting go of old habits, old memories. What’s important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning.
But it’s also important to remember that amid all the crap are a few things really worth holding on to.
Episode 14: Tell Me Sweet Little Lies
January 22, 2006
As doctors, we’re trained to be skeptical… because our patients lie to us all the time. The rule is: every patient is a liar until proven honest.
Lying is bad. Or so we’re told. Constantly, from birth. “Honesty is the best policy.” “The truth shall set you free.” “I chopped down the cherry tree.”
Whatever. The fact is, lying is a necessity. We lie to ourselves because the truth… the truth freaking hurts.
No matter how hard we try to ignore it or deny it, eventually the lies fall away… whether we like it, or not.
But, here’s the truth about the truth: It hurts. So… we lie.
Episode 15: Break on Through
January 29, 2006
In surgery, there’s a red line on the floor that marks the point where the hospital goes from being accessible to being off-limits to all but a special few. Crossing the line unauthorized, is not tolerated.
In general, lines are there for a reason. For safety. For security. For clarity. If you choose to cross the line, you pretty much do so at your own risk. So why is it… that the bigger the line, the greater the temptation to cross it?
We can’t help ourselves. We see a line, we want to cross it. Maybe it’s the thrill of trading the familiar, for the unfamiliar. A sort of personal dare. only problem is… once you’ve crossed, it’s almost impossible to go back.
But, if you do manage to make it back across that line, you find safety in numbers.
Episode 16: It’s the End of the World
February 5, 2006
It’s a look, patients get in their eyes. There’s a scent. The smell of death. Some kind of sixth sense. When the great beyond is headed for you, you feel it coming.
What’s the one thing you’ve always dreamed of doing before you die?
(Shower dream sequence) Okay… Hello? Clearly not my dream.
(George falls out of bed) See? I told you. Not my dream.
Episode 17: As We Know It
February 12, 2006
(Part II of the two-part bomb story line. No closing monologue in part I, and part II’s opening monologue is nearly identical to part I)
In hospitals, they say you know. You know when you’re going to die. Some doctors say it’s a look patients get in their eyes. Some say there’s a scent, the smell of death. Some think there’s just some kind of sixth sense. When the great beyond is heading for you, you feel it coming.
Whatever it is, it’s creepy. Because if you know… what do you do about it? Forget about the fact that you’re scared out of your mind.
If you knew this was your last day on Earth, how would you want to spend it?
If you knew this was your last day on Earth… how would you want to spend it?
Episode 18: Yesterday
February 19, 2006
After careful consideration and many sleepless nights, here’s what I’ve decided: There’s no such thing as a grown-up.
We move on, we move out, we move away from our families and form our own. But the basic insecurities, the basic fears, and all those old wounds just grow up with us. And just when we think that life and circumstance have forced us to truly, once and for all, become an adult… your mother, says something… like that. Or worse, something like that.
We get bigger, we get taller, we get older. But, for the most part, we’re still a bunch of kids, running around the playground, trying desperately to fit in.
I’ve heard that it’s possible to grow up. I’ve just never met anyone who’s actually done it. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We throw tantrums when things don’t go our way.
We whisper secrets with our best friends in the dark. We look for comfort where we can find it. And we hope… against all logic, against all experience. Like children, we never give up hope.
Episode 19: What Have I Done to Deserve This?
February 26, 2006
Okay, so, sometimes… even the best of us make rash decisions. Bad decisions. Decisions we pretty much know we’re going to regret the moment… the minute… especially the morning after. I mean, maybe not “regret” regret, because at least… you know, we put ourselves out there… But still, something inside us decides to do a crazy thing, a thing we know will probably turn around and bite us in the ass. Yet… we do it anyway.
What I’m saying is… we reap what we sow. What comes around, goes around. It’s karma. And, any way you slice it… karma sucks…
Like I was saying… payback’s a bitch.
One way or another, our karma… will leave us to face ourselves. We can look our karma in the eye, or we can wait for it to sneak up on us from behind. One way or another, our karma will always find us.
And the truth is, as surgeons, we have more chances than most to set the balance in our favor. But no matter how hard we try, we can’t escape our karma. It follows us home.
I guess we can’t really complain about karma. It’s not unfair, it’s not unexpected. It just… evens the score. And even when we’re about to do something we know will tempt karma to bite us in the ass… Well, it goes without saying… we do it anyway.
Episode 20: Band-Aid Covers the Bullet Hole
March 12, 2006
As doctors, patients are always telling us how they would do our jobs. “Just stitch me up, slap a Band-Aid on it, and send me home.” It’s easy to suggest a quick solution, when you don’t know much about the problem, when you don’t understand the underlying cause, or just how deep the wound really is.
The first step toward a real cure, is to know exactly what the disease is to begin with. But, that’s not what people want to hear.
We’re supposed to forget the past that landed us here, ignore the future complications that might arise, and go for the quick fix…
As doctors, as friends, as human beings, we all try to do the best we can. But the world is full of unexpected twists and turns. And just when you’ve gotten the lay of the land, the ground underneath you shifts, and knocks you off your feet.
If you’re lucky, you end up with nothing more than a flesh wound, something a Band-Aid will cover. But, some wounds are deeper than they first appear, and require more than just a quick fix.
With some wounds, you have to rip off the Band-Aid, let them breathe, and give them time… to heal.
Episode 21: Superstition
March 19, 2006
My college campus has a magic statue. It’s a long-standing tradition for students to rub its nose for good luck. My freshman roommate really believed in the statue’s power, and insisted on visiting it to rub its nose before every exam. Studying might have been a better idea. She flunked out her sophomore year.
But the fact is, we all have little superstitious things that we do. If it’s not believing in magic statues, it’s avoiding sidewalk cracks, or always putting our left shoe on first.
Knock on wood. Step on a crack, break your mother’s back…
The last thing we want to do, is offend the gods.
Superstition lies in the space between what we can control… and what we can’t. Find a penny, pick it up, and all day long you’ll have good luck. No one wants to pass up a chance for good luck. but does saying it 33 times really help? Is anyone really listening? And, if no one’s listening, why do we bother doing those strange things at all?
We rely on superstitions because we’re smart enough to know we don’t have all the answers. And, that life works in mysterious ways. Don’t dis the juju… from wherever it comes.
Episode 22: The Name of the Game
April 2, 2006
A good basketball game can have us all on the edge of our seats. Games are about the glory, the pain, and the play-by-play. And then, there are the more solitary games. The games we each play all by ourselves.
The social games, the mind games, we use them to pass the time. To make life more interesting. To distract us, from what’s really going on. There are those of us who love to play games. Any game.
And, there are those of us who love to play… a little too much.
Life is not a spectator sport. Win, lose or draw, the game is in progress, whether we want it to be, or not. So, go ahead, argue with the refs, change the rules… cheat a little, take a break… and tend to your wounds. But play. Play. Play hard. Play fast. Play loose and free. Play as if there’s no tomorrow.
Okay, so it’s not whether you win or lose… it’s how you play the game. Right?
Episode 23: Blues for Sister Someone
April 30, 2006
The key to being a successful intern is what we give up. Sleep, friends, a normal life. We sacrifice it all for that one amazing moment. That moment when you can legally call yourself a surgeon.
There are days that make the sacrifices seem worthwhile. And then t here are the days, where everything feels like a sacrifice. And then, there are the sacrifices that you can’t even figure out why you’re making.
A wise man once said, “You can have anything in life, if you will sacrifice everything else for it.” What he meant is, nothing comes without a price. So, before you go into battle, you better decide how much you’re willing to lose.
Too often, going after what feels good, means letting go of what you know is right. And letting someone in, means abandoning the walls you’ve spent a lifetime building.
Of course, the toughest sacrifices are the ones we don’t see coming. When we don’t have time to come up with a strategy, to pick a side, or to measure the potential loss. When that happens, when the battle chooses us, and not the other way around, that’s when the sacrifice can turn out to be more than we can bear.
Episode 24: Damage Case
May 7, 2006
We all go through life like bulls in a china shop. A chip here, a crack there. Doing damage to ourselves. To other people. The problem is trying to figure out how to control the damage we have done. Or that’s been done to us. Sometimes the damage catches us by surprise. Sometimes we think we can fix the damage.
And sometimes, the damage is something we can’t even see…
We’re all damaged, it seems. Some of us, more than others. We carry the damage with us from childhood. Then, as grown-ups, we give as good as we get. Ultimately, we all do damage.
And then… we set about the business of fixing… whatever we can.
Episode 25: 17 Seconds
May 14, 2006
In life we are taught that there are seven deadly sins. We all know the big ones: Gluttony, pride, lust. But the sin you don’t hear much about is anger. Maybe it’s because we think anger’s not that dangerous. That we can control it.
My point is, maybe we don’t give anger enough credit. Maybe it can be a lot more dangerous than we think. After all, when it comes to destructive behavior… it did make the top seven.
So, what makes anger different from the six other deadly sins? It’s pretty simple, really. You give in to a sin like envy or pride, then you only hurt yourself. Try lust, or coveting, and you’ll only hurt yourself, and probably one or two others.
But anger… Anger is the worst. The mother of all sins. Not only can anger drag you over the edge, but when it does, you can take an awful lot of other people with you.
Episode 26/27: Deterioration of the Fight or Flight Response/Losing My Religion
May 15, 2006
(Voice overs by members of cast)
(Meredith) Human beings need a lot of things to feel alive.
(Derek) But we only need one thing…
(Burke) To actually be alive.
(Cristina) We need a beating heart.
(Addison) When our heart is threatened…
(Alex) We respond in one of two ways.
(George) We either run…
(Izzie) We attack.
(Richard) There’s a scientific term for this.
(Addison) Or flight.
(Bailey) It’s instinct.
(Meredith) We can’t control it.
(Izzie) Or can we?
Season Three Monologues
“…because she has a sexy high heel leg that makes her ass go POW”